I was recently reminded of the difference between hope and expectation. Expectations are beliefs that something will happen. When expectations are not met, we become disappointed and struggle to try again. When an expectation is not met, we only see the negative. Hope is focused on the positive. This leaves the door open to try again if things don’t go as planned. We hope for the best, expect the worst, and take what we get. An expectation is defined as a belief that something will happen. Hope expresses certainty but suggests confidence that something will happen. It is more a feeling or emotional state than an expectation.
Some will say you don’t have expectations and you won't be disappointed when they don’t go as planned. That is an interesting thought. I was recently disappointed that a planned speech did not go as I expected. I expected to be part of the decision-making and be included in the overall event. What happened left me feeling used and as an afterthought. I realized i shouldn’t, after complaining about the situation for over a week, that I should not of had high expectations but I should have had high hopes. Then, I could have focused on the positive.
Hope focuses on the positive and on continuing to try. We hope someone feels better but understand that they might not. That is very different than expecting someone to feel better, and they don’t. I found myself focusing on all the things that went wrong and how I felt I was treated poorly and just a token. In reality, a lot of good things happened that I had totally forgotten about. I saw people I hadn't seen in years and impacted students I had never met, and I can continue to share my message because of the video that was produced.
This is a seven minute video presentation that I gave to high schoolers.
I had expected to have such a larger-than-life role in pulling this event together. I had a reason for this because I was a key player in planning an event at the middle school. I felt appreciated and heard, as well as a stakeholder. I had expectations that this event would play out similarly, and when it didn’t, all I could see was what didn’t happen instead of what did happen. I didn’t even think I could possibly use the video as a marketing tool to spread my message or show what I am capable of. All I saw were the promises not kept and the feeling of being left out.
I was reminded that you won't be disappointed if you don’t have expectations, but I always thought that expectations were important. I thought expectations defined all our decisions. Set your expectations high, and you will achieve more. When in reality I think i was set my hopes high and prepared for a different outcome. One that could far exceed my expectations or one that doesn’t even meet my expectations. I never considered that sometimes we can set our expectations too high, but we can never set our hopes too high. Hopes are what dreams are made of. Hopes set us apart from despair. Hope keeps us moving forward when we don’t know what else to do. Hope tells us that things should get better. On the other hand, expectations can lead us down a negative path.
Expectations don’t take into account things that are out of our control, like the weather, technical difficulties, or someone not doing their job. All of which can impact our expectations of how something is supposed to go. We need to remind ourselves that things can go wrong and that expectations are important, but they need to be balanced with hopes and the understanding that things might not go as planned. I am reminded of what my mom tells me all the time: Look for the positives in every situation; they are sometimes harder to find, but they are there. It is easy to find the negative but much harder and worth it to find the positive.
Thank you for reading until the end!
This is the view from my wheelchair, where miracles can make a difference. Always Strive for the Impossible. Come back next week to see what is on my mind and hear more about my experiences and The View From My Wheelchair.